Is our children learning to push it to da limit?

Recently the Land Without Bread took advantage of the summer transfer window to relocate from the Great State of Florida to the also Great State of Iowa.  This morning, I noted to myself it had been a while since I last checked the papers down there, what with the move and all.  So to the Miami Herald, and this is what I found:

By day, the Balere Language Academy is an A-rated charter school, home to children in kindergarten through middle school.

 But when the kids are tucked into bed, Balere apparently becomes a playground of a different kind.

Party fliers, printed and on the Web, indicate that the campus at 10875 Quail Roost Dr. has been hosting raunchy, booze-soaked bashes into the wee hours.  One flier for an upcoming party features a voluptuous, scantily clad woman posing with champagne bottles. Another shows a woman in a string bikini bending over suggestively and a man with flashy jewelry sitting on a stack of currency in front of a gold sports car.

The party's scheduled for tomorrow night.  No indication if the stack of currency and gold car will be on campus.

Parents worry not, however, for the school board is on the case.

The school district received complaints from parents who wondered why there were empty beer bottles at their child’s school. They also complained about a lingering smell of smoke — and those provocative party promotions advertising Push it to Da Limit Pt-1: The Flossin Edition this coming Saturday.

On Thursday, the district sent the Language Academy a sternly worded letter reminding operators that the property is zoned to be a school and not a nightclub.

A sternly worded letter.  Welcome to the Age of Obama.  Seriously:

There’s little the district can do. Charter schools are funded by taxpayer dollars, but run by private or nonprofit boards independent of the school district.

Under state law, the district can close a charter school only if the school is in financial distress or has received a series of failing grades from the state Department of Education.

Chalk up another plus for charter schools: For the right price, they can go pedagogically Galt on the weekends.

School representatives are, nonetheless, taking this issue very seriously and will no doubt get to the bottom of it.  Parents are concerned, after all, and complaining to the district.

Hill, the school’s attorney, said Balere had already delegated staff to investigate claims that the school is doubling as a party palace at night.

I'd like to read that memo.

He said staff plans to visit the school over the weekend “to assess whether any unapproved activities are indeed taking place without the knowledge and notice of the school.”

And I'd love to read that assessment.

You know, I can't say I don't miss that swampy state, in a Carl Hiaasen, God this place is fucked up kind of way.

Update (10:27 AM, September 4, 2011): Exclusive video from last night's "Push It to Da Limit" party.